Sir Turner of Sandwich:

How Mr. Turner became responsible for the Torn Page Writers Group

by Anna Hoyler

Sir Turner of Sandwich squinted at the horizon. As always, it was just out of reach. Typical. He sighed and turned back to his loyal horse.

“Come, Rootbeer! Let us see if there is a quest for us in yonder fair castle!”

Rootbeer gave a soft whiny as he mounted, and the two head towards the shinning castle, a good stretch closer than the horizon.

As the wandering knight approached the castle, declared by a large sign to be “The Southeast Steuben County Library”, Sir Turner felt a touch of unease, but he chose to ignore it. He left Rootbeer in the hands of a capable looking stable hand and began the search for someone who could give him a quest. Finally he located a fair damsel named Lady Pauline and petitioned for a quest.

“We have no quests, at the moment, but we could use someone to help with our webs, sites, and other things.” she replied.

“Excellent.” Sir Turner relaxed. This was shaping up to be an easy job.

But Lady Pauline was not finished. “Have you experience with writing?” She asked.

“I was a journalist before I was knighted.” He answered.

“Fabulous! Have you any experience with immature dragons?” Lady Pauline seemed very interested now.

“I raised one.” Sir Turner was getting nervous about where this was going.

Lady Pauline smiled a wide smile. “You’re qualified! Come with me.” She set off deeper into the castle. “We have a small group of immature dragons who scratch stories and poems into the walls of the room we keep them in. We gave them paper, but they tore it to pieces fighting over it. So we call them the Torn Page Writing Group.”

“Uh-huh.” Sir Turner was beginning to wish he’d stayed on Rootbeer and continued to try and catch the horizon.

Lady Pauline continued, “Lady Shannon has been trying to tame them with offerings of pizza and candy, but this seems to make them wilder.”

“Oh.” Sir Turner cleared his throat. “I’m not sure…”

“What?” Lady Pauline stopped and turned on him. “Are you not a Hero of Sandwich? A bonafide hero sandwich?”

“Well, I’m really more of a BLT…”

“Nonsense! We need a brave knight to quiet the dragons! Lady Shannon can not hold out much longer!” Her eyes showed desperation. “If someone does not tame the Torn Pagers, I fear they will tear our fair castle apart!”

Sir Turner sighed. “Very well. Any advice for me?”

Lady Pauline resumed walking. “The founder of this pack has left, and they are leaderless for the moment. There are only four of them right now, with two in particular who carry the group on.”

Sir Turner nodded.

“We have found some success with a sweet treat we call Oreos. They seem to settle the dragons better than anything else we’ve tried.” They stopped at a door, ominously marked “Staff Only” with a hand drawn sign under it that read “Stay out, Torn Page within.”

Sir Turner took a deep breath. Lady Pauline opened the door and the brave knight stepped in.

It has taken him two years to get back out.

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